Barbara was made a widow when her husband passed away when Barbara was 46 years old. Her younger son, Thomas, my father, was 15 years when this happened. After her husband’s death, she established a grocery shop to raise her two teenage sons.
Why was Barbara also called Kadayamma?
Kadayamma was made up of two words, Kade meaning shop and amma meaning mother. With Barbara’s successful small business and strong character, she had a high social standing in the immediate neighbourhood. Village folks and everybody called her Kadayamma. That name stuck to her identity so much that even grandchildren addressed her as Kadayamma, not ආච්චී, grandma in Lankan.
What did the shop look like?:
The shop front was on the front veranda of her home. The wares were everyday items such as basic groceries. It included sweets, snack foods, lozenges, and soft drinks that attracted kids. At the back was a kettle fired with wood to make hot tea for customers. Stored in gunny bags were rice, sugar, tea leaves and spices. Fresh vegetables were laid on a mat at the front of the shop.
What was Barbara’s daily routine?
Barbara got up early morning and made hoppers, string hoppers, and honey hoppers to be sold in her shop. She attended to her two sons, serving them simple and cheap breakfasts. She packed a lunch for her eldest son before he headed to his work at a timber shop. She attended to her younger son, my father, Thomas, to prepare for school. When both left for the day, she ran the shop, interacting with her neighbours. She kept accounting records for her transactions. In between, she was a superwoman, running her household for the two boys.
What was Thomas’s role in the shop?
Influenced by a hard-working mother at a young age, Thomas worked in the family shop before heading to school. His job was to distribute food orders in the neighbourhood and collect the monies for his mother. On return from school, in late afternoons, Thomas helped his mother in the shop, serving customers, measuring groceries, and helping to keep the accounts.
Tell us some of the great things Barbara did:
Despite losing regular income following the death of her husband, she did not sell any of her properties. She chose to earn a living and protected the properties for her sons until they grew up to be adults. It was hard yakka work.
Describe the period in the early 1940s:
Barbara lost her husband in the middle of World War II. During the year she lost her husband, Japan bombed Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka being a British colony, was at war. The bombing drew great fear among people, resulting in them fleeing their homes. Food rationing was introduced. Schools were closed. It was a difficult time for a widow and her two young sons.
What other things did Barbara do?
Barbara was a leader. She was the eldest in her family. She led her younger siblings, three brothers and a younger sister. Her sister died young, leaving a young child without a mother. She led by example, taking care of her orphaned nephew. This boy, my father’s cousin, grew up in Barbara’s home.
What were Barbara’s shop’s look and philosophy?
It was ordinary, a simple makeshift shop. Every neighbour was welcome. Prices were reasonable for the villagers to afford in a time when scarcities were plenty, and finances were limited.
What did Barbara wear every day?
She dressed in a wraparound cloth and a white kebaya-type jacket. When Barbara went out, she wore a silver hairpin decorated with semi-precious stones.
Till when did Barbara run her shop?
Barbara ran the shop into her fifties until her younger son got married to my mother. After that, for short periods, she ran the shop again a few times, mostly to keep herself occupied. She loved running the shop, the social interactions, and the independence her work provided.
What do you admire about Barbara?
Her confidence to lead in adversity, courage not to give up and fight for life. I am a by-product of her courage. I admire her positive influence on my father, who raised me to be independent at a young age.
This is an image of Barbara kissing her younger son, Thomas my father, on his wedding day. It must have been one of the proudest moments of Barbara’s life.
Barbara, aka Kadayamma, holding Denzil, her grandson — many years after this story started.
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